it's been a shit of a week

let's just say i wasn't on campus and the like and have gone through a thing were i haven't written anything and the like now i am back hopefully better than ever


the girl i liked doesn't like me and didn't tell me which is a suck fest of sucks


i wasn't allowed on campus so i was home and it wasn't that bad i played guitar hero 3 all weekend for my wii, pwnd n00bs online


back at school and writing a cd now for my stuff and stuff

that is the sad thing, is that life can't get better for anyone ever. especially if your name is kyle. i can never catch a break when i want to have something but it is too far out of reach

i am failing class enough as it is, why? because of the fact that i just can't focus. i am sad and miserable with life and it all makes me want to just down a few bottles of pills and just end it

every night just leads to a new nightmare, last night for some reason the ex was involved now that i think about it and it hurts me to know that it is still bothering me somehow. i forget what the context was of the dream but her face was paralyzing my body, i remember waking up screaming

while on the subject of girls, yeah i like this one girl but my friend likes her too, fine, i let him win, [not me thinking that it is a game but he is] it sucks because he is treating me like shit because of it, why not i deserve it! and this girl doesn't seem to notice me that much so why bother, i don't care anymore

mental breakdowns are so much fun, esp when you felt so confident in everything and all you just fall into a million pieces!


woo hooray for me

so i went to the hospital and i was scared to death bc it could be anything, it could be cancer, it could be a hernia it could be anything. even though DTM, mindy and sarah will all there it didn't do much to quell my worries, sorry but it is my special happy place that is injured. they had me laying there for several hours, i lost track before they really did anything, they gave me an ultrasound and figured out what was wrong but waited like two more hours to tell me what it was, then waited another hour to give me meds. they didn't discharge for another forty minutes. what is wrong with me is no big deal they said it sometimes goes away on it's own but most likely you will need surgery


i am scared to death

so it is terrible, i am in so much physical pain even breathing hurts me, this really really really really really really sucks


everyone is forcing me to go to the hospital but i don't wanna bc of some incident that happened years ago and it has scarred me since, so i have decided to fold and go but now i am scared bc of what it could be and if it is something terrible i don't know what i will do

life...


ok

week of two weeks ago
things are going fine, this girl Katie and i are hanging out a lot. For some reason i am being really flirty and so is she. Damn. Things start to get ugly by the end of the week. I tell her i won't date her but she thinks it is all bc she smokes [which is a big reason to be honest] and she flips. life starts to suck for me and well she makes me feel all guilty on teh inside

this week
Katie has been making my life a living hell, having all the staff in the building turn against me which isn't right at all. Everyone but my friends have been siding with me. We finally talk and things seem fine but when i start hanging out with Sarah a lot she gets all jealous and things get bad again. It went worse when me and Sarah decided to date and she hasn't let me live it down by sending me twenty texts saying things that shouldn't be said and leaving facebook comments that would later delete...argh